The Outsider
by The Jasper Raven
Summary: His gift to himself was assuring himself that the one thing he cared about had finally found happiness, at the expense of his own. [ItaSasu][Rated to be safe]


**Title: **"The Outsider"

**Authoress: **Sasukez

**Anime: **Naruto

**Pairing: **ItachixSasuke

**Rating: **T For: angst, sensuality, mild violence

**Side Pairings: **SasukexSakura

**Occasion: **Uchiha Itachi's birthday

**Dedicated: **Uchiha Itachi

**Disclaimer: **The anime Naruto and all its characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

**A/N: **This was originally a branch fic from "Could It Be" but, I just got lost in it and it ended up way better as a separate oneshot from that old saga itself. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

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He'd stopped. He'd been forgotten. No longer was he pined for on the ninth day of the sixth month. Every year he would sneak into Konoha as a gift to himself. His gift was seeing his otouto's face. During his yearly, silent visits to his brother, he had noticed that he did something every year on that day to acknowledge him. Every year, on the ninth of June, since the bloody night of the Uchiha massacre, the youngest Uchiha heir went to the old complex of housed he used to live in and slept in his old bed for that night.

Uchiha Itachi wasn't sure what his younger brother did this for for a while but after a few years of this, Itachi had thought he'd figured it out. Before thy had been separated by the bloodshed and scandal, whenever Sasuke had a nightmare Itachi would always come into his room to comfort him. Now, every night of June 9th, Itachi would again enter that room and lay beside his beloved brother in silence. He would watch over him throughout the night until the sun broke the horizon. He would leave a farewell kiss on his forehead before slipping into the lonely darkness once again.

But this year was different. Itachi professionally and stealthily snuck past the walls of Konoha. It never ceased to amaze him how poor Konoha's security was. He didn't know why it was always so easy to sneak past the guards but he wasn't complaining. He used a transformation jutsu to disguise himself as an ordinary Konoha citizen as he went in search of Sasuke. The village never changed. The only new thing he noticed this year was the beginning construction of the Fifth Hokage face. That was all…until he found the person he was looking for.

Itachi's heart lifted as it did every year when he saw his brother's face. He was always stunned by the beauty he saw in his brother every year. His raven hair and ebony eyes complimented his moonlight skin as well as yin and yang did. He was a marvel. He'd grown from a fumbling, immature child to a reserved, sculpted angel. Every year Itachi always battled with himself whether to tell him the truth or not. Every night he'd laid beside him he'd have to restrain himself from doing something obscene and inappropriate to him. He couldn't let his feelings be known if Sasuke wouldn't return them. Especially now.

"Sasuke!!" Itachi recognized Sasuke's squad mate, Haruno Sakura, running towards him on the street. Itachi expected Sasuke to roll his eyes in annoyance like he did the past years Itachi had observed him. But he was shocked by the smile he saw on Sasuke's face as Sakura ran towards him. And he was shattered when Sasuke opened his arms up to her and he caught her in an embrace. They laughed and spun a little before kissing. Itachi was heartbroken. Sasuke had a girlfriend. Itachi tried convincing himself that maybe his only reason for dating Sakura was because he was lonely. Maybe he missed him. Maybe Sasuke had feelings for him and he was only using Sakura to fill the empty place he was supposed to occupy.

But as Itachi continued to watch Sasuke that day he couldn't help but notice the fondness in Sasuke's eyes when he looked at her. He knew he wasn't imagining the genuine love he saw between them. Sasuke would always have an arm around her shoulders or have his hand interlaced with hers. He never let go of her. Itachi continued to follow the pair around Konoha unnoticed. He felt empty and shattered at the sight of them laughing with each other. That had used to be him. He used to be the one that held Sasuke's hand as they waded through the crowded streets of Konoha. It used to be him that laughed at everything he said and would take him wherever he wanted to go. Sakura had stolen his place at Sasuke's side.

Itachi was enraged by this. It took all of his self-control not to reveal himself and wring the life out of her. He couldn't believe he had allowed Sasuke to slip away to the stranglehold of that whore. For the first time in a very long time, Itachi didn't know what to do. He had never fathomed that something like this could have happened. Of all the scenarios he'd come up with as an effect to Sasuke living without him, he'd never expected him to get into a relationship with someone like Sakura whom he'd thought Sasuke despised. Itachi continued to follow the two for hours until he could take no more of their affections for one another. They were revolting. He fled to the Uchiha complex. When he was safe within the walls, he slipped out of his disguise and sighed.

He gazed around the empty courtyard. He regret it. He regret his sin every day. He longed for the days of the past. He missed the days before the massacre and the bloodshed. He missed the sounds of his family going about their every day chores. He wandered down the streets of his former home, recalling things he'd never given much thought to. As he passed by each old house he was reminded of all the little things he'd been accustomed to so long ago.

"Good morning Itachi-kun."

He stopped and glanced at the little shop his aunt and uncle used to own. He remembered all the polite greetings they gave him on his way to work every morning. He remembered never answering despite how much he appreciated them. He also remembered Sasuke running after him.

"Nii-san! You forgot something!" He always left something behind in the hopes Sasuke would come follow him. Itachi would always turn around and Sasuke would always jump up and give him a hug around the waist.

"You forgot to say good-bye!" Itachi smiled at the memories and continued his trip through the lonely streets of the Uchiha complex. Every house he passed he remembered something he loved about Sasuke. Whether it was picking tomatoes from their mother's garden or delivering some bread to their crippled grandfather, Itachi always loved every tiny thing about Sasuke. A quick, crisp drop fell past Itachi's cheek. He looked up at the sky, noticing for the first time the stormy clouds that were rolling in. He smiled at the irony. How fitting that it rained on his worst birthday ever. The drizzle became a downpour and the sky growled and blinked. Itachi found his old house to take shelter in. The large building loomed over him menacingly, as if daring him to return.

He entered the quiet house. When he slipped in through the front door, a whole flood of memories washed over him. He remembered walking through that door, coming home from a mission and being greeted with a welcome home hug from Sasuke. He remembered sitting down for breakfast as he passed the kitchen. He remembered always fumbling through the cupboards in search of Sasuke's favorite cereal. He remembered flipping through the channels on the TV in search of Sasuke's favorite show as he passed the living room. He remembered everything, like he did every year. He hated himself for what he had done. He hated that he lost Sasuke.

Itachi wandered into Sasuke's bedroom. He stared at the old bed, imagining Sasuke laying under the sheets. He imagined those raven locks splashed across the graying pillows. He imagined the stiff sheets fallen over his porcelain skin. He missed him. He missed his heartfelt greetings and upset good-byes. He missed the life he had had with Sasuke before he'd been forced away. Itachi almost jumped when he heard the front doors to the Uchiha mansion slam. At first he thought it was the howling winds that had joined the driving rain. But then he heard the heavy panting and the dripping on the faded wooden floor. He peeked around the bedroom doorframe. The first floor of the Uchiha mansion was just a long hallway that stretched from the front door with three rooms on each side. So when Itachi looked around the doorframe he could see the person at the front door. At first he thought it was another memory. But Itachi had no memories of a seventeen-year-old Sasuke leaning against the front door drenched in rainwater. He watched as his black-clad brother pushed himself off the door and headed towards his bedroom.

Itachi didn't know what to do. He panicked and hid in the closet. Yeah. The Uchiha genius murderer was _hiding _in the closet. _Worst_. _Birthday_. _Ever_. Deidara would never let him live this down. But then again, Deidara never needed to know. Itachi had tried to distract himself with thoughts of his immature conflict with Deidara. He could distract himself no longer when he saw Sasuke enter the room through the crack in the closet door. Sasuke stood beside the bed and sighed. His hands tangled in his hair and he paced around the room. Itachi couldn't ell what was troubling him. Was it his relationship with Sakura? No. Why would he come here then? Sasuke stared out the window at the tempestuous storm. Itachi couldn't see his eyes. His midnight bangs hid them, rainwater falling off the strands like morning dew off a leaf. Sasuke turned around suddenly and flopped down on the bed, raising a small, thin dust cloud that floated to the ceiling. He gave another, exasperated sigh before rolling onto his side and pulling the sheets over his rain-soaked body. Itachi waited and watched for moments until he thought he was asleep.

Itachi crept out of the closet and stood beside the bed, staring down at the frail body of his brother. His chest rose and fell with his soft breathing gently. The raven strands of his hair brushed his eyelids and his face was almost hidden with his clothed arm that lay on the pillow beside his head. Instinctively, Itachi took his place beside him on the bed. Gently, he placed an arm around his slender waist and the other under his arm and around his shoulders. He laid his head against his and sighed. He'd missed this. He had been so afraid Sasuke wouldn't come tonight. He'd been so afraid he'd lost him. They laid in silence and Itachi listened to the storm. The sound of thunder and pattering rain was soothing to him. He felt his eyelids begin to slide shut as he listened to the rhythmic thrumming of rain on the roof and Sasuke's soft breathing.

"What are you doing?"

Itachi's eyes snapped back open and he was looking into the onyx depths of Sasuke's eyes. They were silent as they stared into one another's eyes. Itachi was a at loss for words. He'd been caught. Sasuke knew he was there. What did he do now? He had never planned ahead for if Sasuke would wake up while he was there.

"I…"

His voice was dry. They hadn't spoken in years. What was he supposed to say? Sasuke didn't seem mad that he was there. His eyes weren't sparking red and he wasn't fumbling around for a kunai. He just looked annoyed but not because he was there.

"What's the point of coming all this way if you're not going to do anything?" he asked like they had never been apart.

Itachi blinked. He was confused.

"You knew I was here?" he asked, dryly.

"I always know you're here." Itachi's heart skipped. He had always known? He'd been awake all those times he'd wandered in and laid beside him? And he hadn't killed him? He hadn't screamed at him or fight with him? Why wouldn't he say anything? Itachi searched his eyes for an answer to his questions. "You're not as stealthy as you think," Sasuke stated with a smug smirk.

Itachi was tempted to smile back. He was acting so calm and normal about it. Itachi didn't understand how he was so relaxed about him being there.

"Don't you hate me?" he blurted.

Sasuke just stared at him. Itachi wasn't sure what he was looking at but he ended up blurting out more.

"I took away everything you loved. I traumatized you. I left you to fend for yourself. I hurt you." Itachi hadn't been paying attention. Sasuke's slender fingers found his lips, appearing like a ghost and sending chills down Itachi's spine.

"I was only mad because you forgot to say good-bye," Sasuke whispered. "You always forget to say good-bye." "I never forgot. I just always hoped you'd follow me to tell me I did."

Sasuke smiled a smile that brought Itachi back to a simpler time. It washed away his grasp on reality and all its rules. He ignored how wrong it would be and captured his lips with his own. For a moment, Itachi was afraid that wasn't what Sasuke wanted. Before he withdrew, Sasuke's hand found his cheek and his delicate fingers caressed his skin. He gently tugged on his dark bangs like he used to when they were kids. It was almost as if he was begging him not to pull away. Itachi pressed back onto him again, earning a soft moan from Sasuke's throat. He moved away just an inch and hovered above him, meeting his lusting eyes.

"Why?" Itachi asked suddenly.

"Why what?"

"Why don't you hate me?"

"Would you prefer that I did?"

"No! But…its just…" "I don't miss them." Itachi was shocked by the coldness in his voice.

"They ignored me. They treated me like I was nothing. So now they're nothing to me." Itachi stared at him in stunned silence. He had no idea Sasuke felt that way. He had thought he hated him for taking away his family.

"I thought--" "Whatever you thought, you thought wrong!" Sasuke interrupted. "You can't read my mind. I don't care about them because then never cared about me."

He paused and closed his eyes. Itachi touched his soft cheek. He was hurt by his family's actions towards him. He didn't blame him for being upset. Sasuke looked back at him, onyx eyes full of longing and loneliness.

"I missed you," he whispered, arms wrapped around his neck.

Itachi stroked his face tenderly and lovingly.

"I missed you too." This time it was Sasuke who bent up to kiss him. Itachi gently placed his arms around Sasuke, holding him closer to his own body. As the seconds went by, the kisses grew more and more passionate and they pressed closer and closer to one another. Itachi couldn't stop his hands from sliding down and around his leg. His animalistic side was coming out more and more with every touch and kiss they shared. He was careful not to let himself get to out of control. The last thing he wanted was to hurt him. Itachi's grip on Sasuke tightened possessively when Sasuke pulled away. The younger of the two was panting, heavily, and his face was flushed soft pink. His eyes were full of lust as he pressed his hands on either side of Itachi's face. His damp jacket slid down his shoulder seductively, almost begging to be stripped off to make the pale skin below vulnerable. Sasuke noticed Itachi's wandering eyes and pressed closer to him so his breath washed over his face as he spoke.

"Make love to me," he said huskily.

Itachi would have gladly complied but his ninja instincts made him question the situation.

"You have a girlfriend," he murmured, casting his eyes down to the damp bed sheets.

"Who? Sakura? You think I like her?" Sasuke laughed.

"Why else would you date her?" Itachi asked, meeting his playful gaze.

"I knew you were coming. I wanted to make you jealous enough to admit your feelings after all this time." He said it without shame, but only with a mischievous smirk. Itachi couldn't help but smile at the irony of his day. He'd thought he'd lost Sasuke. He thought he hadn't had feelings for him. Neither had been the case. Sasuke's hands slid down his shoulders and his fingers found the buttons to his cloak.

"Now, sleep with me," he demanded of him. "I want to give this to you…as a birthday present."

Sasuke arched up towards him. Itachi then realized Sasuke was no longer his defenseless little bud that required constant attention. He had blossomed into a strong, elegant flower capable of making his own decisions. He knew what he was doing and Itachi could deny him no longer. Their lips crashed together and their bodies lit on fire at each contact. Fingers interlaced, lips found skin, limbs intertwined. Clothes were quickly discarded and left in a wet pile on the floor. Itachi trapped Sasuke's vulnerable body against the bed, keeping their hands interlocked. He trailed kisses along his neck and down his chest earning soft moans of pleasure and lusting, tempting arches and rubs. The driving rain and crashing thunder drowned out the sounds of their lovemaking and kept up with them all through the night.

The sun was creeping over the horizon and chased away the storm clouds to dry the fallen rain away. Itachi was the first to awaken beside Sasuke. He sighed in content and bliss and draped an arm over Sasuke's slender, curved waist. He kiss Sasuke's neck in a good morning kiss. Sasuke's hand fell over his and he pressed his bare back against his chest.

"Happy birthday Aniki," he whispered, turning his head to kiss his cheek. "I love you."

Itachi smiled and nuzzled his ear.

"I love you too."

_Best_. _Birthday_. _Ever_.

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**Author's Review: **I liked how this turned out! I usually don't like my one shots but I was actually proud of this one! I needed to get back into yaoi man! Really! Its been a while since I did yaoi. Constructive criticism welcome as long as its not pointless profanity and vulgar. I like to hear advice on how to improve. I'm not perfect and I don't mind being told so. Thank you!


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